Good morning, the earth begins by giving you the rays of sun. Then you are given the breeze blowing through the tree limbs. Listen carefully, the next gift is the song of the trees sung by the birds. I love Sundays. Usually Sunday morning, we sleep in and get up and have coffee while we watch Sunday Morning on CBS. Today is a little different. There is a local run here my husband does, he’s been dong it for years, since the kids were little and used to run at the end over the finish line with him. He got up and off he went, I stayed in bed and snuggled the dog (because he told me too, I like to be at the finish line). Then the cat wanted me up but took some petting in the bed as enough to quiet down. I laid there and thought, and didn’t think and tried to feel my body and not feel it at the same time.
When I write a post I tend to read the one I wrote previously, unless I know it would choke me up and then I might not read the whole thing. So, this morning I thought I would read what I posted the other day. Jesus Momma, what happened….It was aaalll over the map, but honestly it reflects how bad I feel. I think my mental capacity was being pushed by all the feeling crappy, over the past 3 months I do not like how it has changed, it is not me. Like I said, I kept thinking it was peri-menopause…but it was getting worse. If I can urge you to do anything, it’s speak up for yourself. If you aren’t feeling well, seek help until someone listens. Only you know your body and how you feel and for me it was months of looking in the mirror not seeing myself. I thought I looked sick, I felt sick. Our medical system is not made for you to walk in the doctor office and say things like that. It’s a bit sad for those of us that are in-tune with our bodies and want to be part of a team taking on health issues instead of just being told what to do. I have always been an independent thinker, I have always asked why, it’s my favorite question and it really irritates people, I know, but it’s me. I am a Sagittarius, I shall say no more, and if you think the stars and signs have no affect on us, wrong again… everything in your body is linked together, everything in the universe is linked together including how it reacts with us and our systems. I digress…all the time…
The bloodwork. The waiting. The decisions. Ugh. I did a little reading last night after I could partially digest what I was told. How did this all happen? In my brain it’s flying like a banner on a plane over the beach when you’re on vacation. It shocked me, it scared me, but it is also making me think. How can I do better, how can I be better, with the exception that I thought I was doing ok. AlI I know is, I fell the last Thursday in January and I have not felt the same since then. Last week I decided I was going to kind of give my body a break, from all the meds and the supplements with the exception of a daily vitamin and some tumeric (curcumin) for my knee, and any other inflammation at this point. Today I had my collagen in some coconut milk and that was wonderful. Last night we had turkey burgers with pineapple on them and I had a large helping of wilted spinach. I enjoyed the look of the food on the plate, I enjoyed the flavors on my tongue. Sometimes you have to really slow things down…
How does the robin know I am sitting at the table, so then it comes to take a bath? Sometimes it just sits there too, its feet in the water, looking around, taking a moment. I can tell you this, our world has been bombarded for almost three years now. Whether you realize it or not it puts us all into some form of fight or flight, this is not good for our bodies. I truly hope for an end to all of this for everyone, I hope everyone can find more peaceful days.
Today, my gratitude extends to the sky. That sun today is amazing. I sit at the table in the dining room and the kitchen is behind me with all the rays leaning in calling my name. They reach for me and they yearn for me to come and bathe in them. I am grateful for the opportunity to be still, even though it is incredibly hard for me to do, I need to be still. There is beauty in each day, the leaves are emerging from the branches of trees, the babies animals are emerging from the forests, the birds are building their little communities again. There was an interesting section in the book 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson. He speaks about the birds in the trees and how we hear song and think it’s this beautiful sound, but really they are calling their mates, or announcing their territories or sending out messages to other birds. I urge you to listen very carefully to their songs. The cardinal has many different tones and variations. The chickadee does too. Funny the chickadees are so flitty, I always wonder if they have anxiety….the bluejays have even more unique tones. So, the sun calls, it call for me and it calls for you. The wind carries messages of peace and breath for us, an urges us to relax and let go and just be.
Today’s quote from Ted Lasso should really make you think...”It’s funny to think about the things in your life that can make you cry just knowing that they existed, can then become the same thing that make you cry knowing that they’re now gone.”
Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to put on sweat pants, sit and bathe in the sun and play my tongue drum. I dug it out a couple weeks ago and I am sure the birds would love some music.