Surely water fills you cup right…bbwwhahahaha…ok, let’s get a bit serious. Sun fills my cup. I got some sun today. Slept in, took my time this morning. I slept a lot yesterday too. I guess I didn’t explain that I have been sick for a few months, well what I thought was the end of the lady thing, but kept getting worse. So, I am waiting for some tests and trying to follow orders. I have tried to write a post here for the last two days. I had ideas, they didn’t seem worthy or important enough, at least to me so I couldn’t make the words work. Today I cleaned some trash out of my car, I cleaned the dashboard and console. It literally took me forever, I told you in a previous post, everything with intention…My intention here was to not exhaust myself. I finished, actually got told to wind it up and go rest by my dear husband. Okay, okay…I went inside and bid farewell to the falling rays. drew the shades and pulled a blanket over myself and one of the dogs. Genevieve is our Carolina Dog. She has been amazing for the past week plus with me. She will not leave my side. When I go rest, so does she. They other day she laid on top of me because the other dogs were barking and she doesn’t like it and knows I don’t either. She’s just the best dingo.
This past week I kept in contact with my best friends since sixth grade. She checked on me a few days. We spoke about trauma, we spoke about healing. We spoke about stress and healing from that, and the work it takes. I told her I had started and audio book and when I told her what it was about she was like-No. Find something else. I told her I was watching abandoned videos on youtube. I have such a love affair with old architecture. I would take my kids to the areas in my city that is rich in large architectural homes and we would admire them and talk about the different designs. My son got into watching stores about abandoned malls for a while and we would talk about that. So, since I was tied up this past week…I started watching abandoned home videos, but they had to be old and big. My favorite one so far has been this big old brick house in the south built 235 years ago. It had such a beautiful solarium room! The whole things had green glass on the top, it has the most beautiful curves and hardware. My friend thought I shouldn’t be watching them either. She’s like, those houses are dead and decaying, that’s not a very positive thing. So, I thought about it. They don’t evoke sadness in my really, I see the beauty. These are houses made with extravagant wood carved staircases and amazing fireplaces. While I type this there is en explorer on in the background showing me a castle in France that has been left, with furniture and chandeliers and pianos and trinkets. At first you see this beautiful home when you enter. It looks all intact, maybe a bit dusty, but the paint looks ok, the windows are still ok. As he walked up the stairs into a room there is was. The mold…spreading across this beautiful sea-foam colored room as if it was the tide of mold taking over. The staircase is marble and has tiny crumbles, it has the sexiest curves leading up to the second floor. It’s interesting to see how some rooms decay quicker than others, it seems as thought the rooms higher up in these houses decay faster.
The guys went off to a car show…wish I was there. In the end these videos make my eyes happy. I love seeing these things that we don’t have in our homes now. Lost art, lost craftsmanship, but it fills my eyes. and not with tears.
Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.